If you prefer to read the text version, here you go;

Good morning Friends, Dr. Harp Seal here. Lets kick this Friday off with some fun Chuck Norris Facts;

1. Chuck Norris does not get sunburned, the sun gets chuck-burned

2. Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck
Norris is Chuck Norris.

3. Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

4. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

5. There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

6. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

7. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

8. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

9. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

10. Chuck Norris can take a black and white TV and roundhouse kick it into a color TV.