Did you ever wish the movie “Braveheart” ended differently ?
Well in order to ease William Wallace’s troubles, we brought in Superman, Gladiator, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Mad Max and Dracula. I don’t mean to be boastful, but this rewrite is nothing short of a Masterpiece.
With all the violence in the movie, you almost forget it’s a love story. As we have learned throughout history, and our own lives, people go to war for many reasons. Going to war for love is as good a reason as any, maybe better. The legendary character “ William Wallace “ was played by Mel Gibson. OK, here we go;
The year was 1280, and the brutish King Edward Longshanks, invaded and conquered Scotland. William Wallace’s family had been killed. William Wallace was taken to Rome, to be raised and educated by his uncle. Many years later William returns to Scotland and falls in love with his childhood friend Murron, and inevitably marries her. Some time passed and Wallace rescued his wife from a group of English Soldiers. For punishment, Murran is captured and horrifically killed in public. This is where all hell breaks loose.
So to twist this up a little, let’s bring in Bill and Ted from, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure starring Keanu Reeves. Bill & Ted were able to travel through time in a phone booth. So much so, they traveled anywhere from 1209 right through the Utopian Society of 2688. Bill and Ted always had a soft spot for the William Wallace and Murron’s love story. Now if we remember, in 1978, Superman had to circle the Earth backwards at the speed of sound to save Lois Lane from an Earthquake that would’ve killed her. Bill & Ted proposed to Superman to join them and time traveling back to the 1300’s to the very day Murron was killed. Being Mr. nice guy, Superman agrees, and applies the Lois Lane technique for Willam Wallace and Murron.
Superman was so inspired by the love story he had saved, he decided to stick around and hear more about the quest for Scotland’s Freedom. William Wallace told Superman countless stories of the wrath of King Longshanks. Bill and Ted recommended putting a covert mission together giving Scotland their deserved freedom. Superman told them we’re going to need more veterans of war. Bill and Ted recommend two shoe-ins for this A team being gathered. So they time traveled to 161 A.D. and recruited Maximus Decimus Meridius, who was Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius. Maximus was also Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. Nobody knew about vengeance, like him. Lastly, Bill and Ted recommended Mad Max from the late 1970’s to the early 1980’s. This was an easy recruit; Mad Max loved revenge and loved to fight.
Between William Wallace, Superman, Maximus and Mad Max, Bill and Ted were predicting an annihilation of the English Army, and a safe return of Scotland to the Scot’s. This group was so powerful and righteous, it is rumored to be the reason the Comic Book “ The Fantastic Four “ was created in 1961.
So Maximus calls for a meeting with The Fantastic Four, and says to them; “ What We Do In Life Echoes for Eternity “ The four of them put their hands together with the look of complete confidence that Longshanks Armies were about to go down, and down hard.
Within Days, Scotland had their land back.
Its been rumored that William Wallace’s famous scream of “ FREEEEDOM“ at the end of the movie Braveheart, is what inspired George Michael to write his 1990 smash hit “ Freedom “
It is also rumored that when William Wallace said to Robert Bruce and gang, “ We can, and we will “ referring to conquering the English Army, is what inspired “ President Obama’s famous line of; “ Yes We Can “
It is said that Bill and Ted took Superman to a place called Transylvania in 1893. We all remember before Dracula became Dracula, he was a regular man, which could not handle the death of his lover. So Superman applied the Lois Lane technique here as well, and brought his lover back. With that new reality, Dracula never existed.
Furthermore, it’s been said, that if you apply the Lois Lane technique to your own life, you can reverse time. Now being humans can’t fly, that’s OK, the theory says if you physically walk half your life backwards, Then it’s like the Rock band Rush sang in 1987, ♫♫♫ Time Stands Still ♫♫♫
The End. Movie still would’ve been great.
